Old habits

Old habits die hard.  I've been doing very well on moving on and getting rid of the clutter of my old life.  It only took 3 year to get this much progress.   I was reading a book about a woman who found out her husband had cheated on her.  This took me back into areas of my life best left under the rock where I put them.  So today had been a day I'm trying to keep very busy.  Stuff that needed to be done but for one reason or another not done.  I also keep this weekend fairly empty to just try and regroup.  I've been so tired lately --really for about 6 months.  So being drawn back into the past has been a challenge,  I'm pretty durn tired of all the challenges I'm given to gain personal growth.  I was working on my garden trying to tie up my tomato plants and whacked my thumb,  I'm not a carpenter by any means, it throbs.   My fence is coming apart and I'll have to get hold of the fence people and get them to fix it.  These things shall be taken care of and then mo longer a problem, just an annoyance right now.

Bittersweet

I put to an end yesterday to my childhood.  I finally sold the house I was born into, raised until 19 and able to go home to until about a year ago.  The house needed to be sold.  It had so many issues that needed repair and it needed someone to love it.  The only feeling I've had for the past year was a drain-on my resources and energy.  I'm glad it sold,  the people who bought it sound like they will give it a lot of care.  They told me which bedrooms they were going to use and where the office would be.  He will have the basement for a man cave.  My dad had it has a man cave before they were known as man caves.  I can still picture him downstairs with his radio equipment talking to people all over the country and a few foreign places.  That is the memory I have most of my dad.  I can see my Mom on the back porch working jigsaw puzzles on a card table with a neighbor drinking "sweet" tea.  I an see her and my aunt on either the front or back porch just talking.  I can remember sleepovers with friends in my teens.  I can remember reading on the back porch when it was screened in.  I slept on the back porch sometimes it was cooler than the house.  My spot to sleep after we got a room A/C was on the floor, Mom and Dad had the beds.  My thought turn to the critters I had growing up,  a rabbit named Fluffy (lack of imagination -I was only 6) a blue chicken, a duck named Crackers, canary named Tiger, hermit crab named Hermy, assorted turtles I picked up in different places the last pet a poodle named Tory.  Many afternoon hours on the porch with my cousins who lived 16 houses down, we would meet halfway.  Many nights spending the nights at either house,  we played Barbies, and board games.  It was  much simpler time.  I remember the years after Dad died and how the atmosphere changed in the house.  My poor Mom was so depressed I'm not sure she ever really recovered.  Walking to school, riding my bike to the book mobile, walking to Dixie Manor, A & P groceries, Learner, Murphy's and the fountain at Walgreens.  The house was there for me my whole life until yesterday and I let it go on.  I couldn't move back into it and couldn't take good care so now it will be loved again and my memories will be fond of it.