Not a good person?

I've got something about myself I'm not proud of.  It is me, warts and all.  I've discovered this week that I don't wish my ex well. In fact I want him to be suffering.  He gave a party Sat. night that my son choose to attend rather than the one I threw.  It is childish and immature but it hurt my feelings.  I would never tell my son but it is how I feel.  I know after all the therapy that this is my ego ruling my thoughts and it is not attractive.  I'm human.  The one person who has hurt me worst than anyone else is still living and enjoying life.  It's not fair.  He got to keep his job and our company, he has remained in our dream house and he has replaced me at least two times and seems to be really enjoying life.  I'm petty enough to want him to be suffering some emotional pain and some discomfort in his life.    He also got to keep all of his family.  Logic would dictate he should keep his family, but I was a much better sister in law and daughter in law than he ever was as a brother or son.  But that doesn't matter.  Blood wins out.  I've been doing so well in moving on and finding my way so this is a set back and I will find my way out of this.  Just not yet.