Saturday

It's beautiful Saturday but I'm choosing to spend it mostly inside.  Allergies are rather awful this year so less outside equals less stopped up head and sneezing.

Sitting inside brings a new set of thoughts.  The tradition that is ending has been weighting on my mind.  Was there anything I could have done differently that would have made us both more comfortable is being around each other.  The ease that we used to have seemed to disappear after the divorce happened.  I didn't think our friendship was hinged on me being married to her brother.  Is it the uncomfortable feelings we both seemed to get when we tried to be friends?  I've got another tradition that I've got to figure out what to do with.  We have been passing a friendship ball back and forth since the early 90's,  this year I'm it.  I have to find something small enough to fit into the ball and somehow find a way to give it to her.  I doubt that I'll see her during the holidays.  Even if he goes to Florida I doubt that I will feel comfortable enough to join them Christmas Eve.  I'm just out of the loop on their lives.  So do I continue the tradition or do I just let it drop.  I hate to be the one to make it a final ending.  I hate endings apparently.  I have started new traditions and this year making candy could be one with different people.  Decisions are hard to make sometimes.