Doing OK

I'm really glad I kept busy yesterday and will be busy tomorrow.  Yesterday was the 5th anniversary of confronting my ex about his affair.  It was a horrible day and night.  It started the nightmare that lasted way to long in my life.  Tomorrow is the date he told me he didn't want to be married any longer.  He said if we did we would just just end up hating one another in two years.  I guess he didn't realize I already hated him,  after the mental abuse he put me through after the break how could I want to be his friend.  I hate the fact he has seemed to move on without any regret.  I did have a lot of regrets.  I know there were actions that I should have taken or changed.  I wish Karma would have bit him some.  But it seems to be he has a pretty  good life.  I have a good life but have dealt and am dealing with a lot of issues that are just plain hard.  Not how I though life would be at my age. Another thing on my mind is my next birthday,  for some reason the number is bothering me,  it is not a major birthday but one that all the same is getting under my skin.