37 years

Well today is 37 years since I met my ex husband.  A teenage girl and a teenage boy meet on the Watterson Expressway, they start dating and a 13 months later get married.  Along the way they buy houses, have kids, get adult jobs and deal with everyday life.  It gets more complicated, they open their own company, build a dream house and start growing apart.  Instead of working on the issues she puts her head in the sand and he reverts to being a teenager and has an affair, lies and cheats.  I keep having to remind myself that we did have good times and I think he loved me some of the time.  But it doesn't take away all the pain he caused me and our kids with his behavior.  I know it has been almost 5 years since we decided to divorce and he has moved on but I still feel stuck in this loop of sadness and pain.  The 20th of this month is when I confronted him about his affair and the 22nd is when he said he didn't want to be married anymore.  My dad died on July 12th and his birthday was July 1st.  My wedding anniversary would have been Aug 6th.  So many dates that are mine fields for me.  I guess I'll get over it when I get over it.