I've never been one much for celebrating this day. My ex and I sometimes did and sometimes didn't. The last Valentines day that I was with him-he surprised me by getting champagne and chocolate dipped strawberries. He also had a surprise for me in that he got one of "those" prescriptions. Talk about a surprise. It didn't go quite like he had planned. The other thing-(I didn't know everything at the time) was his girlfriend helped him plan the evening and left the house so we could have a romantic evening. That is a really icky thing after I found out they were sleeping together at the time. She sure was a piece of work along with him. So my last Valentines day was a doozy. So right now it is a sucky holiday, the only memory isn't a good one. I try to give him credit for some of the good things but it is so hard when there are so many negatives attached to him.
I feel so unnecessary , I don't fill like I fit in with anyones life. The only person who depends on me is my Mom and that is a different relationship. I guess my dogs count. My older dog had another seizure tonight. This is two in 3 weeks. This isn't boding well for the future. Another loss in my life, it happens with pets. Doesn't make it any easier but is a fact. I'm sitting here tearing up for her and for other reasons. I wish I could see the future and know if it is worth trying so hard to make a new life.
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