Holidays

I used to love the Holidays.  Not so much any more for a number of reasons.  Neither of my children got the love of the holidays that I had.  So we celebrate but not in a Hallmark kind of way.  This isn't bad but not what I envisioned when they were small.  My ex knew how much I enjoyed Christmas and even though he didn't share my feelings made Christmas special for me.  That's history.  My Mom has gone to a different reality so doesn't get into the holidays-so far her remarks have been "it's just another day" and did you get me some sweatshirts and what color.  I work for a church but they really don't get into the spirit of Christmas.  Amazing to me but true.  Right now most of what I feel around this time is a sense of loss and pain.  I know it is my job to find a new way to enjoy my life and I'm trying very hard to reinvent myself and have new expectations.  I have some good friends who help make this a bearable time.  I enjoy being with them and it makes me happy.  I'm having with my daughter  what we call "A family you choose Christmas dinner."  Any one of our friends who feels like it drops by and we feed them "Breakfast Supper"  Biscuits, gravy, grits, sausage and whatever else we feel like making. This makes me happy.  I feel best when I'm around people, not much on my own company I guess.  Life is a learning experience and the only thing certain is change.