Family

Today's struggle is loss of family.  I never had much of my own but found a man who had lots of family that I fell in love with.  I was in the family for over 32 years.  We grew up together, had our kids together, raised them together and went through life together.  Now we have a wall between us.  It's no ones fault,  it just seems that when you become the ex things have to be different.  He will always be first, period.  He is the son/brother and I'm the in-law.  He is dating and bringing them around family events so this means I can't go for several reasons.  I don't want to be around him,  it makes it uncomfortable on the family and me.  It hurts my soul but it's the only thing I can do.  About the only time the family gets together is for holidays and I have to be second choice.  I deserve better than that.  So I'm going to have to make my own family.  I've adopted a sister and thinking of adding one more.  We're going to have to have non-biological holidays.  Where you choose to be with them rather than having to be according to tradition.  I'm going to miss my nieces and nephews,  it meant a lot to me to be an aunt.  I'm losing my Mom to dementia and what little I have with her family isn't really a factor.  Just one more hurdle to climb,  I'm tired.