Positive Day

Saturday's seem to be a better day for Mom.  I don't know if it is the lack of having to get up and go or she gets more sleep.  It makes it harder to think about putting her in a nursing home when she has days like this.  Still she can't manage her life-cooking, medicine, laundry and the like so she can't live by herself.  I'm afraid of her falling and not being able to get back up or going outside and not being able to find her way back so living alone isn't an option.  I can't keep working and caring for her.  I can't afford to keep paying the day center so it seems the nursing home is the only option.  She actually seems ok with it.  She says she has to be somewhere and that seemed as nice as any place.  My fear is she doesn't realize it is a locked unit.  She won't be able to wander around outside-I see this as necessary but she doesn't.  It's sad to see what growing old looks like, it scares the hell out of me.  We went and spent money today on hearing aids, a necessity to those who try to speak with her but not in her  thoughts.  We spend enough to get a middle of the road pair.  She liked the guy-he was older and knew his stuff.  I snapped at her tonight,  every thing has to be done on her time, now,  my laundry was going and she just couldn't wait for me to get to it-after all I wasn't doing anything-cooking, canning and cleaning up the mess from canning.  She pulled mine out and was putting it in the dryer, she wasn't doing anything wrong but I said Mom stop I can do my own laundry.  I think I hurt her feelings and I feel bad.  24/7 is way too much time together.